I am at the stage when i cant think more than 48 hours in advance. Yes, my life has been taken over by end of semester madness. Exams are looming large on the horizon in addition to the assignments and my own teaching responsibilities. Sheer madness. I cant wait for this semester to end. I wish I had done something more extraordinary so that I coudl end teh year with a bang. It isnt that I havent got enough on my plate to make this year a memorable one- I have achieved quite a few of the goals that I set out for myself. I have also been terrible at time management. Currently, in a state of repentance for all the time spent updating music on my iPod and iTunes folder, and other sundry procrastinatory efforts, intrinsic to student life. No time to cry over spilt milk as my mother would admonish me as a child. She will be all aline this Christmas as both her children are on foreign shores this year. I wish she could be with us. I will miss her as I sit down at that elaborate christmas dinner with my in laws. Sometimes I wish for the innocent bliss of childhood when I thought our parents were immortal and would always be there to take care of us, wipe away every tear and bathe every grazed knee. Being married has thrust the additional responsibility of placing my husband and my in laws needs above that of my own family- society requires that i spend Christmas with my in laws and husband rather than with my mother who is all by herself in India. I dont want to potray her as a helpless being-she has always been a career woman and has recently taken to webcamming and chatting online with gusto. I admire her quiet strength and her courage, even more so after my father passed away two years ago. I wish I could do more for her.
Meanwhile, I have attained a state of Zen and am preparing myself for the great annual Xmas dinner with the in laws! I shall soon have to start thinking about Xmas presents. Ouch! My bank account will be complaining soon enough.
I hate capitalism! and I detest capitalism thrust upon me during Christmas!!
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